Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Horrors Within (small preview)

Kefira, Yon, and Mordechai

Mordechai was waiting for the rest of the family to come home.  He wanted to bring everyone together.  He still thought about Vardimom and his family.  He had to patch everyone together or else they would all stay hateful until the day they die.  Nava was counting her fingers.  Not aware of all the tribulations occurring in the present.  She held up the number nine and smiled.  He smiled back and pinched her cheek lightly.
“Such an innocent child,” he said warmly.
Yon came home first, looking rested and ready to tackle anything in his path.
“Please stay son.  I want to gather the family.”
He shrugged and sat down on his bunk.  He fiddled with his covers, trying to keep himself busy until everyone was home.  Kefira then stepped in, the minute she saw Mordechai she stepped out.
“Kefira please stay, I want to talk to the family,” he said, stopping her.
“Don’t expect Rina to come home.  She ran off before I could talk to her, I don’t know where she is anymore!” she said, distressed.
They waited for Rina to arrive any second but she never did.  Kefira lost her patience and began pacing.
“She isn’t going to return!  Tell us what you want!” she barked.
“I-I’m sorry for the way I’ve been treating all of you.  I’m ashamed to call myself your father… but while I was at Vardimom’s home, I realized how much he cared for his children and his wife.  I reflected upon that and… I can’t believe how selfish I was.”
“Was?  You still are!”
“Kefira… you are beautiful and I’m sorry mother left but… I’m still your parent and I expect respect from my own children.  I love my children and I want you to know that.”
Kefira still seemed unimpressed by his words.  “You know what Mordechai?  Until you start providing for this family, until you start proving to me you actually care then we’ll talk.”
She headed to the door.
“Pardon me but I’ll be looking for Rina because I actually love her!”
She slammed the door shut, leaving Nava scared.  Mordechai sighed.  There was nothing else to prove to his children that he loved them.  Yon sat up and began writing in his journal.
March 21, 1942,
This family is falling apart… Father and Kefira won’t get along!  What’s the deal with her anyway?!  He’s trying to do the world some good by admitting to us he’s been selfish and yet she doesn’t appreciate honesty.  How ridiculous!  I must know why she has a strong grudge against father.
He closed the journal and sat next to his father.  Mordechai was fatigued with stress and overwhelming guilt.  Mordechai had to do something!  Or else it would cost his family.  Something he promised not to lose.  It was now time to put that promise to the test.
When he went to bed that night his mind was still consumed by his family.  When his eyes finally closed he heard a voice in his head.
You’re a fool!  Insensitive!  Selfish!  This is why I left!  Look at yourself!  Your daughter provides more for Nava than you!  Your selfish acts got you here!  You don’t even watch your children!  Look at them pondering around with little to eat!  They want you to die!  Leave this planet!
Mordechai sat up.  He breathed heavily and sweat was pouring down.  Tears began forming in his eyes.  His heart swelled up, it felt heavy with grief.  Guilt clouded his eyes.  He felt as if someone beat him, he couldn’t handle the guilt any longer.  He went outside for air.
Nothing feels right!  My family is my number one priority but I can’t seem to show it.  Why do they not see my attempts on being there for them?  This is all wrong!  He took a walk through town.  He avoided any incoming guard and avoided beggars.  His thoughts were racing, nothing took his mind off of Kefira and her words.
I must wait!  He thought of a plan if they still rejected him.  Why even exist if no one cares for your existence?  Might as well do Hitler some good and reduce the Jewish population by one.  But I must wait for now…

Saturday, July 14, 2012

My First Book

My first book that I've written is called The Horrors Within and it's a historical fiction book.  I'm going to break this up into different sections because it's much more organized and easy!

The book is about a group of people during the time of the extermination camps.  The first part of the book takes place in the Czestochowa ghetto and ends up in the Treblinka camp.  It basically covers the horrors of the ghettos and camps and all those different elements.  It also contains the lives of the people in the camps.  Which contain personal problems, death, and grief.

Character Development
I wanted a huge selection of characters so I created a character roster of more than thirty characters which include prisoners and the guards.  This was my favorite part!  I loved creating the diverse amount of characters.  Keep in mind that the Jews weren't the only group of people that were rounded up.  Homosexuals were also mistreated and rounded up during this time so I had a few characters that represented that minority.  Now things weren't picture perfect for homosexuals in the camp so they were often mistreated practically everywhere they go.  Now I'm no expert on the minds of criminals and murderers but I wanted to shine some light on the guards.  Some were good and some were bad and some were questionable.  Oddly enough I think I did better with the guards than the prisoners.

The only reason I wrote this book was because of a project for history and I only had a month to do it so I had little time to prepare for this huge project.  But a week before writing I had to depend on Google for all my information!  There were awesome websites that provided me with the essential stuff to prepare for the book.  I also watched a bunch of documentaries about the camps and I'll be honest, researching this stuff made me a bit queasy.  The worst was with the whole medical experiments, god it was inhumane.  BUT the websites never sugar coated any of this stuff so I had to make the nasty parts descriptive.  Or it was probably just my adolescent mind.

The Procedure!!!!
Oh I can't begin to tell you how stressful it was writing five pages a day.  If you have big handwriting it might be easy but my handwriting is small and some days it was soooo hard to write!  With the month of April being the only month to work on it I had to force myself to write.  Of course if I had no homework or tests to study for it would be easier but life isn't that easy!  There were days where I was in the zone and I was jamming out words left and right!  And then there were days where I just sat there and looked at my notebook with a blank expression on my face.  I had to listen to depressing or scary songs to get in the zone and it actually helped.  Nevertheless I finished on time!

My Criticism
I'm a huge critic on myself and I must say this book is a bit l-a-m-e.  Sure there were some parts that were good or exciting but to be honest it was inconsistent.  My characters sometimes didn't act like their age or their emotions were a huge roller coaster.  On one page they can be struggling with personal problems and then on the next they could be a completely new person.  Sometimes I threw in personal problems and then you wouldn't really hear about them later on in the book.  It sounded like they got over it and moved on.  These were really novice mistakes BUT it was a learning experience.  I mean aside from the grammar errors and inconsistency I think I did an OK job.  I could have done better but then again my expectations on myself are way too high for everything.

So yeah there you go!  I gave you inside information on my first book so you better feel appreciated because most the people I've told don't get this information!  I should post a small snippet later on so you can see just how bad my grammar is.  Overall I'm a bit excited to share this because to me it's an accomplishment.  On my notebook I ended up with 150 pages but on the document it turned out to be 270 pages... that's how small my handwriting is!  One day I might go back to it and fix all the errors and add in a few things or completely change the ending.  I hope you enjoyed this super duper long post because it took me a long time!  Now if you'll excuse me I need to read some Harry Potter.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Sexist Women

I wasn't going to talk about this today but let me just say I'm fed up with all these "man haters".  My sister (an example) is one of them.  Not too long ago she saw an article on the newspaper that read, Men Are Awful.  And she was like, "yes they are and for good reason".  I got a little offended and I didn't bother asking her why she felt like all men are awful.  She sounds like the typical teenage girl on my Facebook who complains that all men are awful because one relationship didn't work out.  You can't state a claim like all men are awful without providing sufficient evidence.  She sounded like the radical feminist who believes all men are devils.  And yet no one thinks that's sexist.  It's frustrating when women treat men as a whole group instead of individuals.  Here's an idea, let's all treat each other as individuals!  Maybe then I won't hear women saying men are like this or that.  If I said women are horrible I'm pretty sure I would get yelled at by everybody but when women say men are awful no one cares to take that seriously.  Sexist people need to take a step back because you aren't superior to anybody else.  Women aren't better than men and men aren't better than women, we're individuals who are better than other individuals.  Look at it that way instead of letting one experience cloud your judgement of others.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Some Updates

I apologize for not keeping up with the schedule I intended for.  I haven't been in a "bloggy" kind of mood.  Nothing has inspired me and I'm one of those people who need to be inspired to type a blog.  I have one post in mind that I'm making.  I did promise you a video on my first book which will probably just be another written post because it would be strange to talk to a camera when I'm not alone.  So yeah I have two posts in mind that I will do later this week or maybe this weekend.  I've been writing my new book and it feels so good to let out my creative juices!  I've also been obsessed with Harry Potter these past few days.  I found the series in a box in the garage and I was so giddy with excitement that I began reading them.  So I've been writing and reading and nothing else.  Hopefully my mood to blog will be lifted soon.  I need to start reading more blogs because I've been M.I.A.  So that's all for today, stay cool!