I Wonder...

The first step for me is to explore and discover, both the inner and outer.  I need to decompress from the horrendous mental state I'm currently in.  I feel like I need to break free and it's a huge risk to separate myself from others.  I keep wondering if I'm doing the right thing... should I isolate myself from people who support me?  I know I must take the first step in this process and that's to support myself.  I can't keep relying on others to help me through my tribulations.  Although all those thoughts still linger in my mind I must push forward shouldn't I?  I wonder what will be the outcome... successful?  Or will it be an uncompleted thought?  I want to be the person who is climbing Mt. Everest.  Struggling and yet finding the perseverance to keep going.  Then, when I reach the top I want to tell myself, "you did it", while feeling euphoric and accomplished.  I hope to make this experience a permanent one rather than a temporary one.  Temporary sucks.  That's all unicorns and rainbows but... what exactly will I gain?  Knowledge.  See ya later internet.  See ya later phone.  See ya later socializing.  See ya later blog.  I wish to see you in March with a new mind and a new me.